Five Ways to Love Yourself More
Let’s have a “we listen and we don’t judge” moment, because I’m going to be real with you.
I recently broke one of my cardinal rules. The very thing I encourage my clients not to do — I did it.
As a married woman, I’m all about helping women heal from unhealthy relationships and attract love that feels safe, secure, and truly cherished. A huge part of that is learning to decenter men and build a strong foundation of self-love first. But over the past couple of weeks, I got caught up in Couple Time. My husband and I had back-to-back plans, spontaneous adventures, and lots of quality time. And while that sounds sweet — and it is — I ended up neglecting me time. I didn’t record my podcast, skipped posting on social media, and left very little room for personal reflection.
Loving your partner is beautiful. But one thing I teach over and over again is this: you cannot pour from an empty cup.
When we prioritize ourselves, we show others how to treat us. And when we give from overflow instead of depletion, our love becomes healthier, deeper, and more magnetic.
So today, I want to talk about something foundational to both your romantic life and your personal peace — how to fall in love with yourself.
5 Ways to Build More Self-Love
1. Write to Yourself
Leave love notes for Future You.
Write encouraging, uplifting messages on scraps of paper and hide them in your coat pockets, your car’s glove box, inside a book, or under your pillow. Discovering them later can be a powerful reminder of how far you’ve come and how much love is available within.
2. Create Soul-Fueling Routines
Whether it’s morning prayer and journaling, a nightly reflection practice, or a midday walk, build a rhythm that allows you to reconnect with yourself. I personally thrive during my nighttime journaling sessions. That’s often when the clarity, and inspiration to pour into others comes. When I fall out of that habit (like I did recently), I can feel the shift.
Start small. Then stay consistent. You’re worth showing up for.
3. Try New Things
Confidence blooms when you prove to yourself that you can do things you never thought you could.
Trying new hobbies, traveling solo, signing up for a dance or painting class — these all stretch you into a fuller version of yourself. And the goal isn’t perfection. It’s joy. We’re not doing these things to monetize them or be the best. We’re doing them because pleasure is reason enough.
I recently went to a painting class even though I’ve never thought of myself as artistic. My work? Definitely not museum-worthy. But I had fun. And when my husband proudly hung it up, it reminded me how attractive it is to be lit up from within.
4. Keep a “Brag Folder”
Sometimes, we need to see ourselves through the eyes of the people who love us.
Start collecting screenshots of sweet texts, messages from clients, social media comments, or encouraging notes from friends. Save them in a physical folder, a digital file, or a pretty box. On the days when self-doubt creeps in, open it and remind yourself: You are that girl.
As someone who spent years behind the scenes as a TV news producer, stepping in front of the camera as a coach has been one of my biggest challenges. But when I hear from women whose lives have changed because of my words, it fuels me to keep going — even when it feels uncomfortable. Any time I get a DM, comment, or email about how my posts or emails helped someone, I screenshot it and save it in my folder.
5. Let Go of the Pressure to Be Perfect
This is especially for my high-achieving, Type A women (myself included). Every part of you doesn’t have to be productive or polished. Sometimes, the greatest act of self-love is to do something just because it feels good — not because it checks a box or moves the needle.
Dance in your kitchen. Bake a cake from scratch. Watch a cheesy rom-com. Say yes to the things that bring you joy for no reason other than they bring you joy.
The more you love yourself, the higher your standards become — and the more magnetic you are to healthy, secure love.
Whether you’re single and building your foundation, or in a relationship and wanting to keep your own fire burning, self-love isn’t optional. It’s essential.
So, if you’re ready to stop dating from a place of desperation, and finally feel seen, safe, and cherished in love…
Let’s talk.
👉 Book a call with me: https://calendly.com/keshiarice/cherished
Together, we’ll map out how to shift from anxious and overgiving to confident and adored.
You were never meant to settle. Let’s get you the love you deserve.
