The Truth About Your Villain Era

Photo by Mor Shani on Unsplash

It’s time for a reality check. You need to stop telling yourself that you are in your “villain era.”

I have seen way too many videos of women claiming they are in their villain era — no longer taking crap from other people and no longer being a pushover. Growing a backbone is not becoming a villain. It’s finally embracing self-love.

Here’s the truth. People-pleasing is a form of self-sabotage. And it doesn’t even work. You can sacrifice yourself over and over for others’ happiness, and there will still be at least one person in your life who thinks you didn’t do enough.

A people-pleaser is the true villain. When you enable people, don’t tell them the truth, and let them overstep your boundaries, you hinder their growth. You don’t give them the chance to be told no. You also allow trash relationships to come into your life and wreak havoc. In dating, you make things more difficult for other women by teaching unhealthy men that some women will put up with this awful behavior. We teach others how to love us, and when we allow poor treatment, the natural consequence is that we have poor experiences.

And let me be clear. This happens not just when a potential partner is a bad person, but even when you meet a good man with good intentions. When we constantly give and shrink ourselves, people think we love giving, and…