What is Masculine Energy? How to Embrace Masculine Energy as a Woman
“You’re single because you’re too masculine.”
If I had a dollar for every “femininity coach” who said that in their content, I’d be rich.
The truth is, both men and women have masculine energy, and both are vital to healthy relationships.
The difference is the balance that we have between them.
Typically, cisgender straight men operate more in their masculine energy than they do their feminine.
Heterosexual women operate more in their feminine energy than they do their masculine.
But again, as women, we do have masculine energy.
The easiest way to think of these two energies is seeing masculine energy as “structure,” and feminine energy as “Flow.”
Masculine energy suggests words like confidence, decisiveness, structure, assertiveness, drive, ambition, push, etc.
When you have too little masculine energy, when you are not operating in it enough, you’re less organized, and lack motivation. Lack of masculine energy correlates with a lack of self-esteem, which often leads to a lack of focus, and also not setting boundaries.
Now, if you are operating in too much masculine energy, you are dominating. You are too analytical, you live way too much in your head, because feminine energy is about being present and creative and allowing things to happen. When your feminine energy is not imbalanced, and you operate too much in your masculine, you become too analytical too rigid. It makes you robotic, it makes you too critical, it makes you confrontational, overly assertive.
Many women think of using masculine energy in our careers, but it applies to our dating lives as well. Having balanced masculine energy is having the confidence to put yourself out there to understand that you would be a great partner to someone, that you would be an asset in a relationship. Having the right about of masculine energy is about knowing when to stay and knowing when to leave. In our masculine energy is where we find our ability to set boundaries, and our ability to hone our discernment. It is where we can look at what we want and don’t want in not just romantic relationships, but our platonic relationships as well. It’s the ability to evaluate your relationships with family members, friends, and coworkers, and ask yourself: Does this relationship serve me? Do their behaviors align with my wants and needs for this relationship?
Balanced masculine energy is about knowing what boundaries to set, and being able to enforce those boundaries. It’s also about taking accountability for our role in relationships. This does not mean that you are letting bad partners toxic partners off the hook. But it does mean that you understand that every relationship involves two people. When your masculine energy is in balance, you are able to look at a relationship and say, okay, this person was not a great person, this relationship was not a great relationship. But I can also look at my role in it and look at what attracted me to this person in the first place, or what behaviors that I have that I need to correct in the next relationship.
One of the best ways I can think to describe this is that the masculine energy is a container for the feminine energy. Feminine energy is that going with the flow, being present, and being creative. You become so much more attractive when you can enjoy the moment, be creative, and allow for play. Masculine energy is what allows you to do those things and feel good. You feel safe to operate in your feminine energy when you have the boundaries from your masculine energy. Once you’re in a relationship, it can be easier to engage with this person because you’ve used your masculine energy to uphold your standards and dealbreakers, so you are only opening yourself up to people you can fee safe with.
