Why Journaling Is the Key to a Healthy Relationship with Yourself
You can’t cultivate healthy relationships with others until you have a healthy relationship with yourself first. I know, it sounds cliché, but it’s true. And today, I want to share with you one simple, yet powerful tool to build that relationship with yourself — journaling.
I didn’t always have a journaling practice. When I was younger, I would have rolled my eyes at the idea of journaling regularly. But my life changed dramatically during what I call my quarter-life crisis. It felt like everything that could go wrong *did* go wrong. I was stuck in a frustrating situationship, unhappy at work, battling health issues, and struggling with friendships. I was basically in a mess of a place, and one day, I had a complete breakdown.
I remember sitting there, crying out to God, saying, “I don’t know what life I want to have, but whatever this is, I don’t want it anymore.” That was the beginning of my transformation. It led me to a deeper spiritual practice, seeing a therapist, hiring a coach — and yes, it also led me to journaling.
And now, as I look back at the life I’ve built — happily married, loving what I do, and running my own business — I can see how journaling played a pivotal role in helping me get there. It’s not just some abstract concept; there’s real science and even Biblical wisdom behind it.
Journaling: Building a Relationship with Yourself
When we build relationships with others, we spend time with them. Whether it’s family dinners, texting a friend, or going on dates, we invest time and energy. So why wouldn’t we do the same with ourselves?
Journaling is a great way to spend time with yourself. It’s having a quiet conversation with your inner self, where you get to explore what makes you happy, what upsets you, and what patterns you’ve been repeating. It’s a space where you get to know your *true* self. Think of it as dating yourself, getting to know who you are, what you need, and how you truly feel.
Journaling Builds Discipline and Confidence
You might be thinking, “I don’t have time to journal!” Well, let me challenge you: You have 10 minutes a day, even if it means waking up a little earlier or staying up a bit later. Trust me, this is about more than just writing on paper — this is about building self-discipline. When you make a commitment to journal every day, you’re showing yourself that you can stick to your word. That consistency builds trust in yourself, and from that trust, confidence is born.
You’ll be amazed at how keeping small commitments to yourself (like journaling every day) can translate into other areas of your life. You’ll begin to trust your intuition and feel more grounded in your decisions.
Journaling Helps You Discover Who You Are
This one is huge. When you start journaling, it’s like you open a door to your subconscious. As you write, you’ll uncover hidden thoughts, old memories, and even suppressed feelings. It’s all about digging deeper to understand who you truly are — not the version you show to the world, but your truest, most authentic self.
For me, journaling has helped me reflect on my past relationships, including the patterns I didn’t realize I was repeating. It helped me pinpoint what I truly need in a partner and what my deal-breakers are. The more I journal, the clearer I get about what makes me tick and what I want in life, love, and relationships.
And I always tell my clients, “Don’t change for a man or anyone else. Change for you.” When you embrace the best version of yourself — when you’re truly connected with who you are — you’ll naturally attract the kind of relationships you desire.
Journaling Clarifies What You Want
Journaling is also a great way to get crystal-clear on your desires, especially in love. By reflecting on past relationships and asking yourself key questions, you’ll begin to understand what you truly want and need from a partner. For example, you might realize that even though you’ve always said you want someone who shares your hobbies, your past relationships didn’t align with that — and that’s okay. Journaling gives you the space to refine your “love list” and truly understand the qualities that matter most.
Journaling Unlocks Your Feminine Energy and Creativity
There’s something magical about journaling that taps into your feminine energy. It’s all about being present, in the moment, and allowing whatever comes to mind to flow freely onto the page. I know you may be thinking, “What does this have to do with creativity?”
Well, it’s more than just writing — it’s about unlocking that creative, intuitive energy within you. One of the best practices I’ve come across is the concept of “morning pages” from the book “The Artist’s Way.” In this exercise, you write three pages of whatever comes to mind every morning. At first, I was skeptical. But when I gave it a try, I found that it didn’t just help me get out of my head. It also helped me tap into some of my best ideas.
Whether you’re brainstorming new projects, reflecting on your relationships, or just letting your thoughts flow, journaling opens the space for creativity to bloom. And let’s not forget: creativity is an essential part of our feminine energy.
Journaling Deepens Your Spiritual Connection
For those of us who are spiritual or religious, journaling can also deepen our relationship with God. Writing down Bible verses, spiritual quotes, or personal prayers can help you stay grounded and connected to your Source. Journaling is a beautiful way to reflect on your journey, express gratitude, and remind yourself of God’s faithfulness.
Even if you’re not religious, journaling can still help you reconnect with your inner being. It’s about creating that sacred space to reflect and ground yourself.
Journaling Improves Your Relationships with Others
As you get to know yourself better, you also gain insight into your relationships with others. Sometimes, you may realize that you’ve been holding onto resentments, or perhaps there’s a conversation you’ve been avoiding. Journaling helps you process your feelings before you have those difficult conversations.
For example, I once wrote in my journal about a situation with my husband where I felt overwhelmed and resentful. After writing it all out, I realized the issue wasn’t him. It was my inability to express my unmet needs. Journaling gave me the clarity I needed to have a calm, empowered conversation with him, and it strengthened our relationship.
Ready to Start Journaling?
If you’re feeling inspired to start journaling but don’t know where to begin, I’ve got you covered. I’ve created two journals that can guide you through specific areas of personal growth: one for ending self-sabotaging behaviors and another for healing from a breakup.
But even if you don’t buy a journal, the beauty of journaling is that it doesn’t need to be fancy. Grab a cheap spiral notebook and start writing. Free-write, brain dump, or reflect on specific prompts. Just let your thoughts flow — don’t censor yourself. You’ll be amazed at what you discover.
Remember, journaling isn’t just a tool — it’s a gift you give to yourself. It’s a sacred practice that nurtures your relationship with you. And the more time you spend getting to know yourself, the more love you’ll have to give — and the more fulfilling relationships you’ll create.
Now go, grab that pen, and start getting to know the most important person in your life: YOU. 💖
